


Describe A Color For Me

by Pollarize



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Colors, F/M, M/M, Synesthesia, brief jenna/tyler, more to come - Freeform, sort of but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:51:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollarize/pseuds/Pollarize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Describe the color red without using the word red?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was taken from a post I saw on tumblr. Credit goes to the owner of that post but unfortunately I only have a screenshot and not an actual link so, my apologies.
> 
> Also translated into russian [here](https://ficbook.net/readfic/5037110)

  1. Red



 

Jenna and Tyler had been together for years. If anyone asked them how long they’d just look into each other's eyes and laugh and say ‘forever.’ People admired their relationship, envied it, wanted it. Jenna and Tyler were madly in love. 

 

“Dance with me?” Tyler asked, holding his hand out to her. He saw her in the kitchen, making breakfast and he thought she was the most beautiful how she was now. Her hair was up in a messy bun and she didn’t have any makeup on. She was only wearing one of his  **_red_ ** t-shirts that hung down to her thighs. Jenna turned around and gave him an odd look.

 

“Dancing?” She asked, turning off the stove as she walked over to Tyler. They linked hands and Tyler started to spin her around, humming a tune softly. She giggled as they spun and Tyler pressed closer into her, feeling her soft edges, her warmth, her everything. He was on top of the world and he couldn’t help the smile. 

 

They stopped dancing for a minute, both of them too transfixed looking into the others eyes. Tyler was lost in her blue eyes. He was lost in the way they shined and changed. They were welcoming and warm and sharp and deep and Tyler could write song after song about just her eyes. 

 

He broke from his stare and dipped her down, grinning at her as she brought a hand up to cover her mouth, tipping her head back as she laughed. Her eyes were squeezed closed and her mouth was spread so wide into a smile. 

 

She stopped laughing after a minute and looked up into his eyes. Tyler looked her over for a minute, taking just a second to admire the way she looked. Her effortless beauty, the way his shirt was like a dress, flowing and beautiful and  **_red_ ** . He leaned in and kissed her, passionate and strong and it left them both breathless.

 

~~~

 

They were eating dinner and it was a quiet event but not in the least bit uncomfortable. Jenna excused herself from the table to use the restroom. Tyler continued to eat, staring at the empty chair across from him. 

 

There were hands on his back and hot breath on his ear.

 

“How about we do something else?” Jenna suggested, her tone hinting at something that Tyler was more than happy to oblige to. He turned around and looked up at Jenna, his eyes falling to her lips. How badly he wanted to kiss them.

 

They were dangerous and beautiful and  **_red_ ** and Tyler was in love. He followed those lips, letting them ease him into bed and take his breath away. 

 

They laid in bed afterwards, tangled together and breathing heavy.

 

“I love you,” he whispered, almost as an afterthought. They were both half asleep and she only mumbled a response. Tyler assumed that it meant something along the lines of ‘me too.’ Jenna rolled over, laying her arm across his chest, her hand resting gently over his heart. 

 

Just her fingertips alone brought  **_red_ ** to the surface. She traced her fingertips over his chest and down his stomach, hovering above the base of his dick. Tyler groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

There was too much  **_red._ ** Everywhere she touched was  **_red_ ** and he couldn’t handle it in that moment.

 

“Fuck, babe, I need like a twelve hour nap before round two,” he said, laughing it off as he leaned over and kissed the top of her head. She gave a short laugh and nodded, curling into him for the night.

 

“Twelve hours exactly,” she whispered before they fell asleep. 

 

~~~

 

It had been nineteen hours by the time Tyler got home from work. Sure, he had halfway promised twelve hours but he didn’t expect her to take it that literally.

 

He had walked through the entirety of their apartment and hadn’t seen a sign of her. The last room was their bedroom and he entered quietly. He stood there blankly, staring at Jenna.

 

She was so beautiful, still so beautiful. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun, the blonde hair falling out in small pieces, hanging over her face. He eyes were closed and lips parted. She looked more than happy. Her body was still just as great as the day they’d met. He stared openly at her, cringing only when he saw where the other man’s dick entered her body.

 

Tyler wasn’t even angry. How could he be? He was just on this side of messed up, enough that he could blame himself for what she was doing.

 

He sighed out everything he felt and his breath came out  **_red._ **

 

But then there was anger, unfortunately it was never directed at her. Tyler turned and left, walking into the kitchen. The flowers he’d bought for her just the other day were sitting on the counter. He could see the petals drooping, the flowers slowly dying. How could he have not seen this coming? Tyler picked the vase up and threw it. There was a crash and murmured curses from the bedroom. Tyler was only focussed on the way the shattered glass cut up the stems of the flowers.

 

Flowers don’t bleed but these did. They bled the color  **_red_ ** and screamed for Tyler to leave. 

 

Their voices were overpowered by one.

 

“Tyler,” Jenna called, rushing into the room. He turned around and she was wearing the  **_red_ ** dress shirt. He turned away from her, the pain he was feeling was too much and he couldn’t deal with it.

 

“Tyler, please,” she tried again and Tyler knew he was acting childish, if only he would just talk to her-

 

“Leave me alone,” he screamed, covering his ears with his hands, tears stung at his eyes and he did everything in his power to not let them fall, he couldn’t be weak. His emotions swirled around him, cutting through the air and hanging over both of them. If Tyler opened his eyes and looked he would see that the room was completely  **_red_ ** . But he couldn’t open his eyes because he would see Jenna and see the reasons he fell in love and he couldn’t.

 

She listened quietly and she felt her pulse heavy in her ears. The  **_red, red, red,_ ** that demanded to be heard. There was something she had to say to Tyler, an apology, a plea for him to say but she stayed silent. The tension in the room seemed to be the deciding factor in her staying quiet. There was no way for her to fix what she’d done and she felt like she should have been sad but she really wasn’t.

 

Tyler looked up and met her eyes and he watched, trying to find that one bit of apology in her eyes but he couldn’t

 

And suddenly his heart was broken and at his feet and the floor around him was stained  **_red_ ** .

 

He left the apartment and started walking aimlessly, trying to get away and to forget. He was only slightly disappointed in himself when he found his way inside a bar. He hadn’t meant to come and drink away his feelings but there was a beer in his hand and he had no intentions of setting it down.

 

One down and another one started and he was feeling fine. He was staring intently at the TV screen and forcing his mind blank. Forget, forget, forget, and he was trying but he couldn’t. He couldn’t because he turned around and there was a mop of hair that was  **_red_ ** and he thought of Jenna. The memories and the pain came back instantly and there was a fresh wave of guilt. But now that he was away, he had some common sense back. There was a small part of him that was screaming that he was wrong to feel guilty. Telling him over and over that it wasn’t his fault and that Jenna was just an awful human and that Tyler never deserved what she did to him.

 

But then the  **_red_ ** hair turned around and he was beautiful. He had enough stubble that he would never feel like Jenna, enough muscle, enough jawline. 

 

And suddenly Tyler was on his feet and walking. The guy caught his attention and they locked eyes and Tyler felt his heart try to beat just a little harder. He felt a little too damaged for anything of the sort still.

 

“Sorry to be blunt but would you want to get out of here?” Tyler asked, setting down his mostly empty beer on the table. The guy nodded, standing and taking Tyler by the hand. 

 

“It’s too cold to walk anywhere, you fine with the bathroom?” the guy asked and his voice was so far from Jenna’s that this was okay, this was good.

 

Besides, Jenna would never agree to sex in a bathroom. Tyler could easily drown his problems in the lips of this guy. 

 

They were walking and the guy was trailing behind Tyler, pressing up against him as they went. 

 

“Josh, my names Josh,” the guy said, almost a little breathless as he followed. Tyler looked back at the guy and studied his face, the way his pupils were blown already and he looked a little too ready. A wave of confidence settled in Tyler and he shrugged once, dropping his voice so only Josh would hear.

 

“I don’t need your name to fuck you.”

 

So he tugged the guys hand harder and didn’t stop until they got to the bathroom. He pushed them both into the handicap stall and was on Josh in a second after the door had locked. Tyler grabbed at the front of his shirt, holding tight as he shoved Josh back. There was a thump as they hit the wall and Josh let out a breath of air.

 

“Shit,” he said, watching Tyler closely. They stared for a minute before Tyler felt it become a little too much and he leaned in, kissing him instead. The scratching of the stubble was new to Tyler and he didn’t know if he liked it or not. But it was new and it was definitely not Jenna so he couldn’t complain. He reached up and tangled his hands in the curly hair. Josh pressed into Tyler, whining in the back of his throat as the kisses got a little bit more rough. Tyler could feel the guy’s half hard dick pressed into his thigh and Tyler rocked into him once, testing it out. The guy sucked in a breath of air.

 

Tyler was biting and licking into his mouth and there may have been a metallic taste of blood but neither could be sure. In any other situation, Tyler might have apologized for how rough he was being but he honestly couldn’t. He was enjoying every second of it. He lived for the fact that with each whimper from the guy, Jenna slowly drained from his veins. It was just this guy and the stale bathroom air.

 

Tyler moved to his jaw, biting gently until he got to Josh’s neck. He sucked some marks into it, claiming territory that was in no way his to claim. Tyler needed more, though, and he wasn’t getting it fast enough. He tugged on the guys hair, forcing his head to tip back. Josh groaned, eyes closing and mouth parting.

 

“Fuck,” he whispered, hands reaching up for something to do. They latched onto Tyler’s shirt and squeezed until knuckles turned white. Josh was pushing his hips into Tyler, moaning as he did each and every time. Tyler loved how vocal Josh was, it would have been better only if they were in a bed at home. Tyler stopped for a moment and leaned up to his ear, biting it once before he whispered in it.

 

“You’re gonna have to be quiet. I’d hate for someone to walk in on you moaning like that. I don’t share very well.”

 

Josh nodded, his teeth digging into his lip as he tried to keep himself quiet. He was doing good about it until Tyler started working his hand over the guy’s pants. It was slow and deliberate and painfully slow.

 

“Please, fuck, you can’t do that,” Josh whined, needing Tyler to do something, anything, at this point. 

 

“And what can I do?” Tyler countered, pulling his hand away and smirking as the guy let out another whine.

 

“Just fuck me already.”

 

“So damn needy,” Tyler mumbled, reaching down to his pockets and patting them once before he faltered. 

 

“I, uhm, didn’t bring anything,” Tyler said, looking down at his shoes as he pulled away from Josh. The other guy laughed, reaching into his own pocket and pulling lube and a condom out. 

 

“You look like a kid who just got their candy taken away,” Josh pointed out, eyes watching Tyler curiously. 

 

“ _ My  _ candy,” he said once, smirking at the way it sounded in his mouth. He smirked and twirled his finger, Josh got the idea and turned around. He adjusted himself, widening his stance and bracing his hands on the wall. Tyler paused for just a moment and admired how beautiful the sight was. He was excited to be doing this and it was all for him. The nagging voice in his head reminding him rudely that it wasn’t his and Josh could leave and go get whoever he wanted. Tyler shook that thought away, wanting to be stuck in his own head that this was his. 

 

Josh reached down and pulled his shirt over his head, reaching down after and unbuttoning his pants so he could slide a hand down below the waistline. He let out a shaky moan as he looked back at Tyler, a lazy smile on his face.

 

“You just gonna stand there or am I gonna have to get off by myself?”

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and tugged his own shirt off, stepping in close and resting his hands on Josh’s hips.    
  
“Of course not,” he said, rubbing his thumbs in circles against the soft skin. 

 

But suddenly, Josh’s hips reminded him too much of Jenna and it was hard to get that thought out of his head. Small and slender and soft, too much like the last time he traced his hands down the curve of her back. Tyler pulled away from Josh like his skin was on fire.

 

“Fuck, fuck, I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” he said, his voice filling with the tears that he wouldn’t let spill from his eyes. He leaned against the other wall, pressing the backs of his hands into his eyes. He heard Josh shuffle and move, standing in front of Tyler. 

 

“Did I do something?” Tyler hated how it sounded like Josh was blaming himself. Not like this situation was anyone's fault now. There was still enough guilt in Tyler to feel bad for leading Josh on and he felt like he could almost make it up if he explained.

 

“Sorry, no, it’s not your fault. I didn’t intend to use you to forget her, okay? I just saw you and you’re fucking beautiful and I’m really sorry. Things were great but just, holding your hips like that and it felt like her for a minute and I don’t want to feel her.”

 

He was trying so hard not to cry. He’d gotten this far without crying and he wouldn’t, he couldn’t.

 

“S’okay, I understand,” Josh said easily, reaching up and pulling Tyler’s hands away from his face. Tyler kept his eyes closed, breathing in through his nose and out his mouth, calming himself. He felt gentle kisses on his neck and rough stubble that could never be confused for Jenna. Tyler tipped his own head back, letting Josh explore himself. 

 

“If you still think I’m so beautiful, I could always press you into that wall and fuck you until you forget,” and Tyler nodded so fast at those words. 

 

This time it was Tyler turning around. 

 

It didn’t take long before Josh’s hands were at Tyler’s pants, unbuttoning them and pulling them down. There was the sound of a cap snapping open and shut. Tyler took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

 

“You sure?” Josh asked, resting a hand on Tyler’s hip.

 

“Yes, just hurry,” Tyler said, gasping quietly when he felt cold fingers pressing against him. Josh went slow, easing in and pausing, letting Tyler adjust. It had been a long time since he’d done anything like this. Jenna hadn’t been willing to try it out with him once they were together. It only helped to keep his mind off Jenna, she wouldn’t do this. 

 

“God damn, move already, I’ve been waiting ten years for this,” Tyler complained, pushing his hips back as he did. Josh tried to stifle his laugh as he pulled his finger out slowly and pushing it in again. He kept it slow, even going as far as to force himself to concentrate on that just to spite Tyler. He lived for the drag of his fingers and the way Tyler tried to turn around and yell at him to go faster.

 

“Jesus, fuck you, I asked nicely,” Tyler said, trying to push his hips back and get more friction. Josh followed him though, not letting Tyler get what he wanted. Josh stayed quiet, pushing in a second finger and listening as Tyler moaned. He was still mostly quiet and Josh was contemplating what Tyler would sound like when they actually started fucking.

 

Josh continued to go slow, stretching Tyler and teasing him and not letting him have his way. It didn’t take long for Josh to find his prostate either, letting his fingers brush over it every other thrust, laughing to himself as he watched Tyler’s frustration grow. 

 

People would enter the bathroom every once in awhile and Josh would stop, not moving an inch. Tyler would put his fist in his mouth and try to keep quiet. One time he wasn’t able to and whined loud enough for the unknown person to hear. They left pretty quick after that.

 

The whining and begging continued and Josh finally gave in, pulling his fingers out and pulling his own pants down. He pulled the condom on as fast as he could and was pressing himself up against Tyler again. He pushed in, keeping it slow even now but he knew that that wouldn’t last long. 

 

Tyler had quit pushing back against Josh. Instead he was taking in deep breaths and trying to relax, trying to adjust. 

 

“Please?” Tyler asked after a moment, voice barely above a whisper. Josh gave in to his demands finally, moving slowly. He tried to keep it slow, to tease Tyler even more but it was too hard not to at this point. He needed the friction just as bad as Tyler did. He picked up speed and Tyler was using the wall to hold himself up. It had been way too long since he’d felt this good, since someone had touched him the way Josh did and it was almost too much.

 

They’d both given up on trying to be quiet. Tyler had become a mess of moans, every method he’d used to quiet down was inefficient. 

 

Josh ran his hands down Tyler’s back while he fucked into him. Tyler could feel his fingertips pressed into his skin, leaving long trails of  **_red_ ** wherever it went. But this  **_red_ ** felt nice. It was what he wished he could still feel with Jenna but that was gone, replaced only with the harsh thrusts of the guy behind him. Tyler didn’t regret it either at this point. His knees were weak and his body felt good and Josh knew exactly what he was doing. 

 

Tyler reached down and wrapped his hand around his dick, matching the pace of Josh, feeling his stomach get tight fast. 

 

“I’m,” Tyler tried, not getting the rest of his sentence out. He was breathless and the words wouldn’t come to him. He was spilling over his hand before he knew it, his body becoming too sensitive as Josh hurried to finish himself off. 

 

It didn’t take long before Josh was pausing, a moan slipping out of his lips. He leaned forward and held himself up on the wall with a hand, working to catch his breath. 

 

It became too long, too intimate for strangers and Josh stood up, pulling out of Tyler slowly. Tyler gave a short groan as he felt the emptiness. They both worked slowly, pulling themselves together and trying to fix their appearance. 

 

Tyler had hoped that this would help him get over his feelings but he had never been more wrong. He had enjoyed every second of it but it still didn’t fix the way his heart ached. He knew that it wouldn’t have helped going in but he had done it anyway. 

 

They walked quietly out of the bathroom, Tyler heading for the bars exit before he was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned around and Josh was there again, looking slightly nervous.

 

“Could I get your number, maybe?” He asked, looking up to meet Tyler’s eyes. He thought for a minute, before he shrugged his shoulders.

 

“I already forgot your name,” Tyler responded, yanking his arm out of Josh’s grip and turning to walk away.

 

He lied though. He may be broken from what happened but that didn’t change the fact that he had just had great sex with a beautiful man.

  
_ Josh,  _ he thought as he walked away. He only wished that he hadn’t been as broken and could have given his number away without the nagging guilt that felt  **_red_ ** in his throat _.  _


	2. Yellow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the only time I can really write is on the weekends so don't expect updates super frequent. It might start being every two weeks but I'm trying! (Also trying to get back to other stories and stop neglecting them so)

       2. Yellow

 

In the end, Tyler was the one to move out. It was the biggest struggle of his life, going back to _his home_ where he’d made a life with and around Jenna. He was packing all of his things when Jenna came back and he cursed to himself, frustrated that now, of all times, she’d return from wherever she was.

 

“Tyler?” She called, walking into the bedroom. He stood up and turned to face her and he couldn’t quite read what expression was on her face. He watched silently, emotionlessly (or as emotionless as he could force himself to be). He watched her burst into tears and run forward, throwing her arms around his neck. Tyler stiffened, not once returning the hug.

 

“Oh, my God, I didn’t think you’d come back. I’ve tried calling you and your phone's been off, I missed you. I’m so sorry, I swear. It won't happen again. I need you here, Tyler.”

 

He continued to be silent, letting her words sink in. Tyler wouldn’t allow himself to touch her. He knew that if he reached out and hugged her back that he’d melt into her embrace and he’d be gone on her again.

 

“Tyler?” She asked finally, pulling back and staring at him with pain filled eyes.

 

“You’re not seriously leaving, are you?” She peeked around him and saw the small suitcase he’d bought from the store that was half filled with rumpled clothes. It was obvious he was in a rush.

 

“I can’t stay, Jenna. You made the choice of sleeping with whoever the fuck that was, now you expect me to forgive that and pretend like I’m okay?” It stung more than he thought it would to have this conversation.

 

“I’m not asking you to pretend like things are okay here because they’re not. I messed up and I know that, I don’t, I never expected it to go back right away to how things were but we can try to fix it. Just stay, talk with me. I’ll do whatever it takes.” She was pleading and begging and Tyler needed to get away. If he kept looking at those sad, sad eyes then he was going to give in and he was going to let her do it all over again.

 

“You can’t fix this, Jen, you just can’t. I gave you everything and you went and fucked some guy. You took every fucking thing from me. I was so fucking happy and you just ruined every ounce of that. And for what? What was the point of that? Was I not a good enough lay only a day before? Did I not fuck you right? Should I have been a little rougher? Maybe next time I’ll pull your hair and slap your ass. I’ll call you daddy’s little slut, is that what you wanted from me? Did he at least give that to you?” He hadn’t meant for it to happen but he was crying and every single doubt came flowing out of him. Jenna looked like she was offended by his words. The sad part was that she never denied it.

 

“You don’t need to use that kind of language.”

 

Tyler gave a humorless laugh and turned back around to what he was packing. The conversation ended but Jenna never left the room. She hovered over him, watching everything he did and effectively making him uncomfortable.

 

In the end, Tyler left a lot of things. He didn’t have the time to sit there and go through it all and he needed to get as far from Jenna as possible. He mostly just grabbed clothes and a couple of things that were of significant importance. Tyler stood and grabbed his suitcase, heading for the door. He brushed past Jenna as she tried to block the bedroom doorway. He wouldn’t let that stop him.

 

“Tyler, wait,” she called and he gave a deep sigh, turning around and looking at her, “He wasn’t as good as you. I thought that I needed, uhm, something more? But truth is, I don’t. You treated me right and God, you always left me feeling like I was high. I didn’t get that with him.”

 

Tyler listened to her quietly, looking over to the wall and nodding. He let the words sink in, choosing his own very carefully. He looked up and made eye contact with Jenna, looking into her sad, sad eyes. What surprised him most was he didn’t care. His heart didn’t ache for her anymore.

 

“Yeah? Well I went out and let a guy fuck me. My legs were like jell-o and it was the best fucking sex I’ve had in years.” He meant every single word of it and didn’t even care when Jenna choked on a sob. He turned to leave the apartment, not looking back and not really caring.

 

His heart might not have ached but he felt empty and he wasn’t sure which he preferred.

 

He checked into a hotel and set his things down, staring at the single bed and dim lit room. It seemed to match the empty that was slowly consuming him. He decided that he needed to find someplace happy to surround himself. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, let himself get back to this feeling.

 

He walked until he found a coffee shop. It was covered in the **_yellow_ ** -orange glow from the lights and it smelled so strongly of coffee. There were people sitting with laptops and empty mugs of coffee. The couches were all secondhand, well loved and out of place but it gave the shop it’s own charm. Tyler went up to the counter and was greeted by a bright eyed girl who took his order.

 

“It’ll be right out, have a seat and we’ll bring it to you,” she said in a polite tone. Tyler nodded and turned to find a couch. He relaxed into it, letting the background noise of typing and talking and grinding of coffee overwhelm him until he was lost in it. It was a better feeling than the empty and dead hotel room.

 

“Was I just that good of a fuck?” Someone said from above Tyler and his eyes snapped open, looking up to red hair and a cocky smirk.

 

Tyler sat there, unable to find the words that should be said. What was he supposed to say to the person he’d slept with the night before? He had no intentions of seeing him again yet here they were.

 

“Figured it would be kinda hard for you to stalk me if you forgot my name so fast,” he said, setting the coffee down on the end table and then sitting himself down next to Tyler. It was a little too friendly. They weren’t friends, why was he even talking to Tyler? Shouldn’t he be mad or angry?

 

“Josh, I-”

 

“So you do know my name,” Josh said, a smirk on his face still. He leaned back into the couch and folded his arms over his chest.

 

“Look, I’ll just go. I didn’t know you worked here or even around here,” he stopped, reaching into his back pocket and pulling his wallet out, pulling a ten dollar bill out and thrusting it at Josh. He took it with a confused look.

 

“There’s a tip for making my coffee, sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

 

He wasn’t sure what he didn’t mean to do but it didn’t matter anyway. He stood up without grabbing his coffee and headed quickly for the door. He needed out because suddenly the **_yellow_ ** -orange and the coffee smell was too happy, too suffocating. He was panicking over nothing and he needed to get out. He needed to get far away from anything Jenna or Josh or _home._ He pulled his coat tighter around him, ducking his head as he walked down the sidewalk. There was a mist in the air that meant rain was coming. It left the streets empty and Tyler was thankful. He would have walked for miles if Josh hadn’t stopped him.

 

“Hey,” he called, the sound of quick footsteps was loud in Tyler’s ear, “you forgot your coffee.”

 

Tyler turned around and watched as Josh walked up with the coffee in his hand. Tyler felt his stomach flip. He couldn’t honestly say if it was because he was happy or because he was about to be sick. The latter seemed more true in that moment.

 

“It’s fine, you take it. I don’t feel so good anymore. Coffee will just make me sick to my stomach,” he said easily, masking the pain on his face as best as he could. Josh pulled the coffee into his chest as he reached into his own pocket.

 

“Fine, you don’t have to drink the coffee that I spent _forever_ making for you but take your damn money back,” Josh said, handing the money back. Tyler tried to refuse it, shaking his head and backing away.

 

“No, I told you that was for the coffee, keep it,” he said, his eyes starting to feel wet. He didn’t want to cry in front of Josh. He didn’t want to cry in general.

 

“Bullshit, nobody ever tips for coffee. If this money isn’t for coffee then it’s an apology for last night or whatever you’re thinking it is. I don’t expect you to know since you fucked me and left me but I’m not a prostitute. I don’t do this sex for money thing.”

 

“I never said you were,” Tyler tried, frowning at the bill that kept being pushed in his direction.

 

“Well, either way, if you did hand me ten dollars and pulled me into bed I’d happily go but that’s beside the point.” Tyler looked up to see a goofy grin on Josh’s face and he wanted to smile back but he couldn’t. There was a guilty feeling that sat heavy in his stomach.

 

“Shit, I didn’t mean to upset you. Come back to the shop with me and I’ll make it up to you?” Josh asked, pocketing the money and then reaching a hand out to Tyler. He stared at the outstretched hand like it was an alien object.

 

“Typically when someone does this, you hold their hand,” Josh offered. Tyler swallowed and nodded once, reaching out hesitantly and taking Josh’s hand.

 

They walked quietly until they were almost to the door of the shop.

 

“Can I at least know your name before we fuck again?” Josh asked, his tone teasing. Tyler tried to find it in him to laugh and joke back but he just couldn’t right then.

 

“Tyler.”

 

~~~

 

Tyler ended up sitting in the coffee shop for the rest of the night until Josh got off of work. He wasn’t sure why he stayed but he did. He watched as Josh served other customers, his smile was so wide and his eyes crinkled and Tyler was right, this man was beautiful. Even his destroyed heart could find it to piece itself together if it meant seeing that more often.

 

Any and all thoughts of Jenna went out the window when Josh turned and gave that same smile to Tyler.

 

“I’m closing tonight so if you are wanting to talk, we can sit down after everyone has left,” Josh offered, having his own questions but also sensing that Tyler needed to let a little (a lot) off of his chest. Tyler nodded and sipped on the coffee that Josh had made for him.

 

The last person got up and left, a wave to Josh as he called goodbye. Josh walked over to the door and locked it, not looking over to Tyler. He started sweeping and cleaning the counters, only giving Tyler attention when he was done with everything.

 

“Alright, I think you owe me a little bit of an explanation,” Josh started, sitting down next to Tyler. His smile was gone and Tyler wished for it back. It was bright and warm and **_yellow_ **. It was comfort in the simplest of ways.

 

“It’s late, I-”

 

“Something to do with a girl?” Josh prompted, his lips pursing for a moment as he looked over at Tyler. There didn’t seem to be an easy way out of this situation and Tyler gave up. He didn’t see what the harm was of telling a stranger. It would be easy to avoid Josh from now on if he really needed to.

 

“My girlfriend, well, ex, I guess. I got home from work yesterday and caught her with some guy. She didn’t even apologize to me and I was just, I don’t even know. I was about to leave last night and I looked into her eyes and I didn’t see any apologies.” He stopped and took in a shaky breath. It wasn’t hard to tell that he wasn’t gonna get out of this without crying. Josh waited silently, the frown on his face having since disappeared. He sat with a blank face, his eyes almost seeming to understand where things were going. Tyler was happy that he didn’t seem mad.

 

“I ended up at that bar and you really are beautiful. You stood out and I just wanted to know you. Things would have gone down a lot differently if I wasn’t so fucked in the head over her bullshit. I didn’t intend to use you, okay? I didn’t even want to go out and do that for revenge or anything. You were just there and I just-”

 

“Shit happens, not gonna lie but I enjoyed the sex, so,” Josh interrupted, giving a small smile, trying to change the mood. Tyler looked away. He’d started talking and now he had to finish.

 

“Well, fine, I enjoyed it too. But anyway,” Tyler gave a small, shy smile before going on, “I went back home today and was packing my stuff. She came home early and begged me to stay, she apologized and said it was an accident and wouldn’t happen. Cheaters are cheaters though and I got out of there as quick as I could. Josh, I spent five years of my life with her. My mom had given me my grandma’s ring, I was gonna propose.”

 

With that final confession he felt his walls dissolve and he was crying. Josh rested an arm over Tyler’s shoulders gently, pulling him in close.

 

“You’re okay,” he said once but there wasn’t any force behind it because Josh knew that Tyler wasn’t okay. He just had no idea what to do to help.

 

“Josh, everything I worry about, she fucking confirmed it. I’m alone and going back to some shitty motel with nothing left,” he started, feeling himself choke over the words he was really trying to say. Josh caught the drift and squeezed Tyler a little tighter.

 

“Well, you’ve got me now, if you want,” he offered, taking in a deep breath.

 

“I don’t though, you’re gonna go back to your house and be just fine. Last time I got like this, last time I was alone, I, it didn’t end well. It almost ended,” Tyler hiccuped through his words, feeling like he was out of air. He couldn’t get anything into his lungs and it scared him.

 

“First off, I haven’t been ‘just fine’ in a long time, second, you don’t have to be alone. I’ll go back with you and keep you company, okay?” Tyler nodded once, not questioning what Josh meant.

 

~~~

 

They shivered the entire way back to Tyler’s hotel. He’d finally calmed down and the empty feeling returned but it wasn’t completely empty. Josh held his hand the entire way, every once in awhile he would murmur about how he wasn’t gonna leave, how he was there for Tyler if he needed. He told Tyler that he forgave him.

 

“For what?” Tyler asked, looking over to Josh. He never looked back, just watched the street in front of him.

 

“Sometimes you just need to hear it whether or not you did something wrong.”

 

Tyler looked away and stared at his feet as they moved one foot in front of the other. He was trying to let the words sink in. They finally did and Tyler felt that faint **_yellow_ ** spark in the pit of his stomach. It was comfort and that brief moment of happiness. He didn’t know Josh but he wanted to. He wanted to know each thing he thought, wanted to hear the sweet words that fell like **_yellow_ ** sunshine from his lips. It was a feeling entirely different than anything he’d had before.

 

Sure, he’d been in love with Jenna but she never comforted him the way Josh was doing now. She never gave him the all sense of security like he was doing okay, like things were fitting into their place. There was no anxiety that settled over them.

 

Josh stepped into the hotel room and the loneliness of it evaporated. It was still dimly lit but there wasn’t that nagging sense of sadness that went with it. This time, it felt calm, relaxing. Tyler shrugged off his coat, setting it down on the chair by the door.

 

“I appreciate you coming back here with me, it means a lot and-” Tyler was cut off.

 

Josh had rushed forward, pressing up against Tyler, his hands reaching up to Tyler’s cheeks. Their lips were pressed together and Tyler would have responded but he was shocked still. It took him a minute before he kissed back, a hand tentatively reaching out to Josh’s waist. This kiss wasn’t as rough as the ones from last night. Instead, it was forceful and passionate without the biting. The need was still there but this one was far from sexual. Tyler had no way to describe it besides the word ‘home.’

 

Josh pulled away enough to be able to talk.

 

“I never said it but you’re beautiful, too. You are so fucking beautiful. I knew that before you even asked me to go with you last night. But you’re even more beautiful now. You’ve got such a kind heart, I know that for a fact. You’re beautiful on the inside, Tyler,” Josh said, voice breathless. Tyler was looking down at Josh’s lips as he spoke, letting the words wash over him.

 

Their lips were pressed together again and Tyler melted, letting his mind draw blank as he just let Josh take over. He pressed Tyler into the wall, biting gently at Tyler’s lip.

 

Tyler pushed at him gently, turning his face away from Josh.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, looking down to his feet.

 

“Why are you apologizing?” Josh asked, backing away from Tyler to give him space. Tyler only shrugged, feeling like a panic attack might come on.

 

“I just can’t do this. I’m not the type to sleep around and last night was probably a mistake. I don’t wanna just use you so, I’m sorry,” Tyler tried to explain, letting out a long sigh. Josh gave a confused look for a moment before it smoothed out again.

 

“Well, we don’t have to do that. If you want I can just distract you. We’ll talk and do whatever the hell you want,” Josh offered and Tyler felt like he might cry. He nodded his head because he didn’t know if his voice would work.

 

~~~

 

It was two in the morning and Josh was still there.

 

That was the first time that Tyler had felt completely **_yellow_ ** in God knows how long.

 

Josh was probably the best person to have brought home. He didn’t expect Tyler to participate in the conversations. He sat there and talked for hours, sharing stories and explaining things. He told Tyler all about his passion for music. He talked about his favorite bands and how he always wished he could be like them. Tyler listened silently, watching as Josh rambled on.

 

He liked that Josh was enthusiastic. He got into his stories. His eyes got wide and his smile grew and he talked with his hands.

 

“Thank you,” Tyler finally said, not elaborating on what he meant. He figured Josh got it when he paused in his story and smiled to Tyler. He decided that he liked the way Josh made him feel. There was a little bit of **_yellow_ ** that encompassed his heart and made him feel like there was hope, that he wouldn’t be so damn sad all the time.

  
Josh continued on with the story and Tyler let out a breath of anxiety, letting himself relax and let Josh’s voice consume his thoughts.


	3. Pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is garbage but idk
> 
> Also only one more chapter left, can you guess the color?

      3. Pink

 

Tyler ended up going to the coffee shop more and more. He said that it was because the coffee was good (he wasn’t really even a fan of coffee). It ended up being that he liked to spend time around Josh. It was just a lucky chance to have run into him a second time but he was helpful, he was caring.

 

Josh made it a habit to visit Tyler at random hours of the night. Usually it was when Tyler texted him, a panic or swell of depression and a few tears. Josh didn’t have a problem helping out, sitting and talking for hours if necessary.

 

After a couple months, it only seemed logical for Josh to ask Tyler to move in with him.

 

“You’re wasting so much damn money on a shitty hotel room and you’ve been struggling to find an apartment. I wouldn’t mind,” Josh offered, sitting down on the bed Tyler had claimed as his. Tyler shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the floor.

 

“Josh, I don’t know. That’s your place, I just,” Tyler started, trying to find an excuse to say no.

 

“Come on, don’t be like that. I spend most of my time over here hanging out with you, might as well just have you come and stay with me. It’ll save gas. Plus, I wouldn’t mind some help on the rent.”

 

Tyler thought about it for two days before he walked into the coffee shop again. He had his head hung and hands in his pockets.

 

“Uh oh, what’s wrong,” Josh asked, throwing the rag he was using over his shoulder. He walked around the counter, his hands reaching out to grab Tyler’s arms. Tyler shook his head and stepped out of Josh’s grip.

 

“I’m not upset,” he said easily, frowning when he looked up at Josh. He still looked concerned and disbelieving.

 

“I just don’t want to have to admit you were right,” Tyler said, trying not to smile when he saw Josh’s face light up.

 

“Fuck you,” Josh said, pulling Tyler into a hug. It surprised Tyler when he did.

 

There was an awkward tension between the two of them. They hadn’t started out as friends, or as most friends usually do. The first time they met they had sex and the next time they met Tyler was crying in Josh’s arms. It made for some mixed feelings.

 

Since that first day in the coffee shop, neither one of them had talked about the bar. It was just this unknown territory for both of them.

 

Josh pulling him into a hug sparked something in Tyler.

 

It was the first feeling of **_pink_ ** that left him unsure but so excited. He wanted to feel it again. He wanted it to encompass him the way that yellow did when Josh smiled. He wanted to feel the **_pink_ ** so thoroughly that there was no mistaking it. He wanted Josh to feel it as well.

 

Things were so easy after that. They fell into step easily together and it wasn’t long before Josh grumbled and pouted until Tyler actually confessed his feelings.

 

The following months were so easy.

 

~~~

 

Tyler was sprawled out in bed, one of his arms hanging over the edge of the bed. His face was smashed into his pillow, mouth open and drooling. Josh shifted next to him and it startled Tyler. He jumped up, heavy eyes, darting around trying to find what woke him up. He looked over to see Josh passed out and no other person in the room.

 

“Fuck,” Tyler mumbled, rubbing at his tired eyes. He was gonna give Josh hell when he woke up. Tyler really didn’t want to be woken up at, he looked over to the clock, two in the morning. He sat there propped up on his elbows for a minute before he decided that it wasn’t fair that he was woken up at this awful hour and that Josh didn’t deserve to sleep more than him. Josh was waking up, time now.

 

Tyler reached over and slapped his hand over Josh’s chest, the sound of skin on skin echoed once through the room. Josh groaned, bringing his hands up slowly to clutch the red, irritated skin. He rolled over away from Tyler, eyes squeezing shut.

 

“Gonna be a pretty red handprint,” Tyler said easily, watching as Josh turned back over, peeking an eye open to look at Tyler.

 

“You did this? You woke me up?” There were puppy dog eyes involved but Tyler was still too groggy to really be affected.

 

“Hell yeah, I did. You woke me up in your sleep so I woke you up in my awake.” Josh snorted.

 

“That wasn’t even proper grammar you ass hat,” Josh said, sitting up in bed and rubbing at his face and eyes.

 

“Who cares if I have proper grammar? It’s two in the mornings and I’m not doing good,” Tyler said, a smirk on his face when he saw Josh get annoyed.

 

“Not doing well,” he corrected, sighing into his palm before he dropped his hands and looked over at Tyler.

 

“Good.”

 

“Well.”

 

“Fuck you, Ty, I didn’t want to be woken up for this bullshit.”

 

“What about we bake some cake? I’m hungry,” Tyler said, crawling out of bed now that he was fully awake. The wood flooring was cold on his bare feet but he didn’t care. He walked around and stood in front of where Josh was pouting. He shook his head at the idea once but Tyler could tell he didn’t _completely_ mean it. Only mostly. He reached down and grabbed the covers, pulling them off Josh quickly.

 

“No, fuck, asshole! It’s fucking cold, why would you do that?” Josh asked, his face a mix of anger and sadness. Tyler only laughed and walked closer. He rested his palm on Josh’s cheek and saw him melt into the touch, stretching up automatically because he knew what was coming. Tyler leaned down and pressed soft kisses onto Josh’s lips, both of them smiling lazily when they pulled away.

 

“I want you to come make food with me,” Tyler said and Josh sighed before nodding.

 

“I guess I could eat,” he said, following Tyler out of bed.

 

They went into the kitchen and Tyler dug through the cabinets, looking for what sounded good. He found a box of confetti cake, probably unused from the last birthday party of whatever friend. He pulled it out and thrusted it out to Josh. He had a grin on his face that was so childish and excited over a damn box of cake, Josh found it hard not to fall in love with him just a little bit more.

 

Josh chuckled and stepped over to where Tyler was holding the box.

 

“Really? You bought this?” Josh asked incredulously, flipping the box over and going to preheat the oven.

 

“Fuck yeah, I did, that’s the best cake out there,” Tyler said as he went back to digging through cabinets and drawers to find the things they needed. He laid them out on the counter before he turned back around to Josh.

 

“Do you think it’s even sanitary to cook in just our boxers?” He asked, looking over to where Josh was bent down, trying to dig a mixing bowl from the back of the cabinet.

 

“Sanitary? Why are you worried about that? Pretty sure what we did last night didn’t count as sanitary but you were fine with that,” Josh stated, pulling the mixing bowl out and standing back up. Tyler’s cheeks heated up and he looked away from Josh.

 

“What? You’re all shy now cause there isn’t a bed here?” Josh asked, giving a short laugh as he stepped into Tyler’s personal space.

 

“Pretty sure you weren’t shy when you were ordering me around and sucking my dick.” Tyler scoffed and took in a deep breath before he returned the eye contact.

 

“If you aren’t careful you’re gonna end up in that bed again with your hands handcuffed above your head,” Tyler said, a smirk forming as Josh backed off and raised his hands defensively.

 

“Of course, of course, sir.”

 

They both started dumping ingredients into the bowl, fighting over the mixer for a minute before Tyler gave up and let Josh do it.

 

They stood around the bowl, watching as the powder got sucked up and turned into the liquid. Josh circled the mixer to get everything up but instead he scraped the mixer blades against the bowl. There was an uncomfortable glass on metal sound and then a spray of cake mix that hit Tyler on his chest.

 

He stood there with his mouth open, eyes wide and hands splayed out in shock.

 

“Oh, shit,” Josh said, bringing a hand up to cover his smile and hide his laugh.

 

“You wasted the best cake mix out there!” Tyler yelled, trying to feign being angry but he couldn’t. Josh was laughing and there were tears on his face and Tyler couldn’t help but join in and laugh with him.

 

“Waste? That was just a tiny bit!” Josh tried to say in between laughs. Tyler’s knees buckled and he ended up on the floor, holding his side to keep it from hurting. He hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time.

 

“It’s still a waste, we could have eaten that,” Tyler said with a small pout as his laughs died down.

 

“I could lick it off of you,” Josh said suggestively and the blush rose to Tyler’s cheeks again.

 

“Just get me a towel, weirdo,” Tyler said, pushing himself off the floor and starting to wipe himself off. Josh busied himself with pouring the mix into a pan before putting it into the oven.

 

“Did you put any baking spray on the pan?” Tyler asked after he saw the cake go in the oven. Josh looked over at him, confusion on his face.

 

“Baking spray?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. Tyler walked over and picked up the can of baking spray, holding it out to Josh.

 

“Oh, you know, nothing major. It’s just the spray that keeps the cake from sticking to the pan. Not like this is the only reason you can get a cake out of the pan after cooking it,” Tyler said sarcastically. Josh looked at the can in Tyler’s hand and then to the oven.

 

“Well,” he started, leaving off the rest of the sentence when Tyler laughed.

 

“Man, we fucked up.”

 

He left it at ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ even though Josh was the only one who had. He kept it as ‘we’ because they weren’t Tyler and Josh anymore they were Tyler _and_ Josh. If that meant that Tyler’s cake was a little (a lot) fucked up then he’d take it. He’d take everything if it meant staying with Josh.

 

The oven beeped twenty minutes later and they both tripped over each other trying to get to the oven first. Tyler got the only oven mit and Josh pouted as Tyler pulled the cake out. He set the cake down on the counter to let it cool.

 

Both of them ended up with their arms folded over the counter, chins resting on their forearms, staring at the cake. It hadn’t even been five minutes.

 

“How long do you think it takes to cool down?” Josh asked, staring intently at the cake like it would cool down if he looked at it hard enough. Tyler shrugged, looking over to Josh.

 

“We could just frost it now?” Tyler suggested, too anxious to eat this cake to actually wait for it to cool down properly. Josh obliged, grabbing a knife and the jar of frosting. He went to town on it, complaining the entire time that it was melting.

 

“Tyler! Why’d you buy such shitty frosting?” He said, pulling the knife away to get a string of frosting that dripped on the counter.

 

“I didn’t! You just didn’t wait long enough,” Tyler said, leaning away from the knife that Josh pointed at him accusingly.

 

“My fault? This is my fault? Who was the one that suggested we just start frosting cause that sure as hell wasn’t me.” Tyler folded his arms over his chest and pouted, offended that Josh would actually blame him for this.

 

“How dare you even suggest that I’d do such a thing,” Tyler tried but it ended in laughter and he couldn’t lie.

 

“You already fucked it up with the cooking spray, doesn’t matter now,” Tyler said, grabbing a sharper knife and cutting the cake into small squares after Josh was done frosting.

  
They took their bowls of cake and crumbs and liquid frosting and sat on the couch. The only light on in their apartment was the kitchen light and it was just enough to be able to see. They sat there quietly, eating their cake and occasionally sharing a look and a laugh.

 

“This is by far the worst thing you’ve woken me up for,” Josh said, taking another bite of his cake as he watched Tyler.

 

“Yeah but at least it tastes good,” Tyler said easily, smiling when Josh nodded.

 

They went back to their bed after they put the dishes in the sink. Both of them passed out when their heads hit the pillows.

 

~~~

 

It was just dumb luck, at least that’s what Josh was saying.

 

Tyler wouldn’t ever admit that he had gotten lucky, he couldn’t let Josh be right. So instead he jumped up from his chair and yelled his excitement.

 

“Hah! In your face. I fucking beat you! You said I wouldn’t ever beat you at MarioKart, look who fucking won!”

 

So what, he was a horrible winner.

 

“No way! You had a fucking green shell, I was at the damn finish line, you were just lucky. I would have won if you waited one more second.” Josh was pissed and he threw his remote on the floor, glaring at his boyfriend.

 

Maybe Josh was also a sore loser.

 

“Come on, babe, just admit that I’m better than you,” Tyler pried, hoping that he’d hear the words leave Josh’s mouth. He’d been waiting for them for so long.

 

“More like I’ll admit that you’re sleeping on the couch tonight,” Josh said easily.

 

“What?” Tyler asked incredulously, shock so blatant on his face.

 

Josh got up and walked back to the bedroom, leaving Tyler frozen in the living room. Tyler followed after him, only getting a hand to his chest when he tried to step into the bedroom.

 

“Couch, you awful winner,” Josh said, closing the door behind him. Tyler didn’t exactly know what to do so he stood there, shocked, mouth gaping as he tried to process what just happened. The door opened again and a pillow was chucked at Tyler along with a blanket.

 

It seemed like Josh was serious about this.

 

The door shut again and Tyler stood there, dramatically falling against the door so that it made a lot of noise.

 

“Josh, please, I miss you,” he said, giggling because it was all so ridiculous. There was a shuffle behind the door before it opened and Tyler fell backwards.

 

“You’re lucky I love you,” Josh mumbled and it was the first time either one of them had said it. Tyler’s eyes grew wide and so did Josh’s when he realized what he said. Tyler felt **_pink_ ** again and it felt so good. He felt happy and ecstatic and he was so completely in love with this boy that he had no idea what to do with himself.

 

Josh tried to take it back.

 

“Tyler, I, I didn’t, fuck. I meant it but I get if you’re not ready for that. Please don’t be upset. I care about you a lot, I just, fuck,” Josh said. It was easy for Tyler to see that he was starting to panic. They’d been together for a couple of months and at the start, both had agreed to take it slow. Tyler was so wounded back then and empty that he’d thought it would be fair to Josh to take things slow and build up to where they wanted. Josh was scared that he’d broken those terms.

 

Tyler scrambled to his feet, stumbling as all the blood rushed to his head and he felt dizzy. Dizzy because he stood up too fast and dizzy because everything was **_pink._ ** He was seeing it and feeling it. He reached out and placed his hands on Josh’s cheeks and he could feel it. The soft skin of **_pink_ ** and the slightly rough feeling of **_pink_ ** .Tyler leaned in and pressed his lips to Josh’s and he could taste **_pink_ **.

 

Everything was fucking **_pink_ ** and Tyler loved every second of it.

 

He pulled away and rested his forehead against Josh’s, breathing in and out for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he opened his mouth.

 

“Josh, please calm down. I’m not upset, okay? Look at me, I’m happy. You know why?” Tyler paused, waiting until Josh opened his eyes and looked at him. They held the eye contact and Tyler felt like his grin was about to split his face because he felt so damn much. It was all too much but never in a bad way. Too much because he was exploding with **_pink_ ** and it was the best feeling by far.

 

“Because I love you, too,” he finally said in a whisper, leaving the silence to fall down around them after that. There wasn’t anything left to say after that.

 

Josh smiled back at him and pulled away, grabbing Tyler’s arm and pulling him inside their bedroom. They both fell into bed, smiles and kisses and warm feelings. They were tangled together, a mess of limbs and smiles and soft breaths but it was comfortable.

  
There wasn’t anything that needed to be said between them. They both could look into the other’s eyes and just know that they were on the same page for that moment, they both felt completely drowned in **_pink_ ** but it was okay. Tyler was struggling for air. He liked the drowning sensation because he was drowning in Josh and what better way to go than that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Share your thoughts, please?


	4. White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it
> 
> Sorry it's so short

Tyler had never liked  **_white_ ** .

 

Maybe it was just for the fact that he had never had a chance to meet it, to get used to it. He’d imagined it before but he never expected it. Maybe it was because it seemed scary to him.

 

**_White_ ** was finality, a lasting color that underlined every other feeling. 

 

He could find  **_white_ ** in most anything. It was the ceiling in his bedroom as his face screwed up in pleasure and he whispered his moans to it.  **_White_ ** was the shoes he wore sometimes, a smile on his face when Josh would compliment him for it.

 

“You know I love it when you wear floral,” he’d whisper, coming over and planting kisses over Tyler’s face. 

 

**_White_ ** was the color of the milk as Tyler poured himself cereal one morning. He was half asleep and his hair was a mess but he didn’t care.

 

“God, Tyler. I think we have to break up.”

 

Tyler looked up, still not completely there as he was trying to wake up and process this information.

 

“What?” He asked dumbly, not yet feeling the sting of the words.

 

“You pour your milk before your cereal? I don’t know that I can be around that negativity for the rest of my life,” Josh said, playfully frowning. Tyler only rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah? At least I towel off after my shower,” he countered, continuing to eat his cereal. Josh just laughed and sat down next to him, taking the milk and box and making himself a bowl.

 

Josh got ready for work silently, coming over and placing a kiss on Tyler’s forehead.

 

“See you when I get off,” he said, smiling and leaving the room.

 

It left a lot of time for Tyler to think as he stared at the  **_white_ ** of the walls.

 

He was pretty sure that he was going to marry Josh one day. He felt complete and whole and happy. There wasn’t any other way that he could imagine his life going without Josh in it. He realized that  **_white_ ** was flawless and that they were flawless. 

  
Sure, maybe they had their problems every once in awhile but together, they could get through anything. Their walls had bumps and imperfections on it but it was still  **_white_ ** , it was still pure. 

 

Tyler was in love and he had no doubts about Josh. This was where he was meant to be, this is where he needed to be.

 

So fuck Jenna and her lies and how she cheated but thank her all the same. She sent him running away to this boy who held the world in his hands for Tyler.

 

He dialed Josh’s number, listening to it ring before Josh picked up.

 

“Ty, you okay?” He asked, concern laced in his tone. Tyler smiled, looking down at the countertop where he traced patterns into it with his fingertip.

 

“I just wanted to let you know how much I love you,” he said, his smile soft and so gentle. There was a laugh on the other end.

 

“God, I fucking hate you,” Josh said fondly.

 

He felt  **_white_ ** and it wasn’t scary at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know your thoughts of the overall series maybe?

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at smut, my apologies.
> 
> Stay tuned for chapter two


End file.
